Review of Ninja Assassin

A travesty.  An absolute travesty.  It could have been a great movie about ninjas trying to adapt to modern times while staying true to their long-held code and traditions.  Could almost have been a parable about the struggles of us here at the International Ninja Union.  But instead, the movie takes a bitter ex-ninja named Raizo who failed his training and then slaughters an entire clan of hard-working ninja and turns him into the hero!

How dare they!

Now, there are some sympathetic characters in the movie:

  • Ozuno, the kindly old ninja master who takes the young Raizo under his wing
  • Takesh, his adopted brother, who helps train him, and protects him from those who would betray him–like the young girl who coddles him as a child and tries to seduce him away from the clan when they are teens
  • even an attractive ninja who only wants help folding a sheet in the laundrymat

But they are all slaughtered in turn by the psychopathic and vengeful, Raizo.  I truly hope no one falls for this anti-ninja propaganda.  On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a negative four billion.

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