Join the Union!

As a working ninja and practitioner of the deadly arts. you know how tough it can be to get good work. There is little appreciation for the skills a ninja has spent his life perfecting, and since the death of the clan system over 600 years ago ninja have mostly had to go it alone. Bad working conditions, no job security, an astounding lack of benefits, it all adds up to a bad environment in which to ply your trade. The anonymity that is required for the job makes it even tougher, and many a ninja has been laughed out of court when attempting to sue a previous employer without giving a name or social security number.

Any ninja who wishes to call themselves a professional should be a part of the International Ninja Union and National Association of Ninja Practitioners. Like any union, we can help you find work and keep it, negotiate contracts, and we even have a strike fund* for ninja who are fighting the good fight to keep up living wages for ninja by refusing to work for less.

Your $49.95 membership includes a laminated membership card, making you a card carrying ninja union member, a t shirt so that you can proudly display your membership status, and your choice of a coffee mug, set of ink pens, or a can cooler for those hot days, all with our logo beautifully embossed on them. Join now and let the world know that you are a silent killer who supports his brothers and has the backing of the largest assassin’s union outside of the CIA. If you buy now, we’ll also include a membership to the National Association of Ninja Practitioners, the premier networking and job assistance organization for Ninja around the world. Your membership to the NANP will arrive in a black envelope in that secret place where you keep your spare house key. Yeah, of course we knew abut that spot, we’re ninja.

*There’s not really a strike fund, we just assassinate your boss.